“Sometimes I think about… how I wish you could have just done something to make me hate you. Something to hurt me… to make me stay away from you- how much easier it would be. How much easier it would be if I hated you. But I don’t.”
This is the opening dialogue to Fletcher’s music video for “If I Hated You” as she’s videotaped walking towards her hotel room through the view of security camera footage. The new single is uneasy and dark, lyrically reminiscing on the frustration surrounding an ex-lover when it comes to sleepless nights and afterparties. The song tosses and turns under bedsheets between memories of fallen eyelashes and broken promises. In the second verse she offers;
“Took an eyelash off my face, said “Make a wish” and I made three Wish I could’ve loved you better Wish you’d kiss me, wish I wasn’t me, me"
The track follows Fletcher wishing she was better prepared for romance, and the haunting possibility of her ex finding someone else. The song’s angsty pre-chorus toys with the idea of leaving to find herself, versus her darker thoughts twisted around the consequence of somebody else touching her lover the way she does now. A decision that would ultimately be easier to make if she just hated her partner. Contrary to the spiraling panic found in the lyrics, the sound is actually much more iridescent pop. A sound that gives its undivided attention to the more sexual and bitter elements of the track, winking at the heated undertone of what truly fueled the song’s inspiration. Like a kaleidoscope, the song changes intensity and hues from every angle.
Speaking of angles, the video is comprised of scratchy bedroom camera footage. The clips flash between different security cameras while Fletcher flaunts her greige sweater and dirty blonde hair- which is quickly stripped down to only Calvin Klein. From pacing back and forth to rolling on the bed, this sex-tape style video was shot and directed by Fletcher’s ex-girlfriend Shannon Beveridge. She’s even shown briefly with Fletcher in bed towards the end of the song. To answer your question, yes; this is a song written about her ex, in a video shot and directed by her ex, featuring her ex. Watching the video you can almost feel the restless atmosphere of that purposive casting decision. The entire video is an easter egg for her upcoming EP titled The S(ex) Tapes. Take note of the emphasis on the ex. With three singles having dropped, the EP is scheduled for release on September 18th. Watch the video for “If I Hated You” below, and strip down to get ready for The S(ex) Tapes.
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